Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Calm after the Friday storm




I don’t know what to feel, the floods washed away the emotions left,
But glad the storm is over.
Of course there is the aftermath,
But I smile for I weathered the storm
I knew it would come, the storm; I saw it coming
But had no way of stopping it, I couldn’t
I am just thankful for the calm after the storm.

I sat and waited, minute after second
Patiently, I watched as he torched
All I thought we had; correction …all we had
Then as if to comfort me, I tell me
At least I dared to dream, about peaches and cream
Of sun and sand, basking, in front of a playing band
Of good times, speaking in rhymes
Counting our blessings, stolen blessings

I was not interested in the war, but the war in me
I didn’t know how to defend myself, but I went to battle
Armed with nothing, but a vest of faith
A sword of pain and anger from a failed union

Walking off the boulevard of broken dreams
My warriors meet his
I see through his blue eyes the pain, the caution, the fear, the insecurity
I hope my wry smile tells of the hope, the chance, the possibility, the destiny

Jumping off the cliff of daunting doubts
His worries meet mine
And I see a ray of sunshine in the Friday storm
For a second there, the mist disappears and the fog lifts
I see the face of man in pursuit of happiness
I am the form of a woman ready for love.

Friday, January 22, 2010

A river without a course





I am water, that I know, as the course meanders,
So I do, I cannot resist, it is who I am.

I need answers!

Can a river be without water?
Can water be without a course?
Can a river have more than one course?

I want answers!

Can I be without him?
Can I sour without her?
Can I wed both my loves?

She represents what I want.
He is what I want.

I feel like a blind woman
About to date a sightless man
Does he feel the same?
Raging waters to a destination unknown!

My heart responds to his voice
Even though my eyes have not seen

My soul enchanted by his words
Even though my skin has not felt

My future holds him captive
My past filled with his visions

She features in my dreams too
In my future we shake hands and pay respect
In my present she is dominant
In my past she is vague

Why does it feel like I am falling for Maya Angelou?

She is not Maya Angelou, she who catches my fancy
But maybe she will be, when the rains come and go,
When winter meets spring on its way to summer,
When the children are born and all grown,
When seedlings yield crops,
When the sun sets

Am I lost?

Why can’t I tell where it hurts?
Is this pain or stifled glee?
Why can’t I explain the thrill?
Is this love or adulation?

What will it be?

Love or career?
My dilemma!
Him or her?
My quandary!

To win or to lose?

It’s a catch-22; I see no middle ground
It’s this or that; I feel no sense of balance
I want it all; mtaka yote hukosa yote
I’ll take both; mpanda farasi wawili hupasuka msamba

Monday, January 18, 2010

Yours, Truly his!



I had a dream about me and you were not in it; his presence in your absence is peculiar.
I day dream about you and dream about him; unconsciously his yet consciously yours is curious.
Eyes closed I see him and awake there you are; that you are the lights yet he illuminates is mysterious.

What you see when we lock eyes I want to know; the sparkle in his or the twinkle in mine?
What is it you discern when we hold close; his heart throbbing or mine skipping?
What about us makes you blue; that he is the burglar or I am the stolen diamond?

You sing to my crust and he speaks to my core; I am body and soul.
He says I am gorgeous and you think I am poised; I am bold and beautiful.
Without you it is completely dark and him away I am glum; I am black and blue.

I have but I want; albeit what you are not.
I need yet I have; although what he is not.

Yours, Truly his.