Our twilight saga

Dear Edward You,

When it seems like it’s quiet
And there is a silence in the darkness
And it sounds like the carnival is over
And as you walk in the crowded empty spaces
And you stare at the emptiness around you
I will be there and you will be there
We’ll find each other in the dark

And you will see and I’ll see it too
Cause we’ll be together in the dark

And if it terrifies you then it terrifies me
Cause I will be there.

Cause if it’s coming for you then it’s coming for me
But I will be there.

And if its panicking you then its panicking me
So we’ve got each other in the dark.

Cause we’ll need each other in the dark.

Yours,

Bella Me.


Words inspired by DJ Tiesto –In the dark.

Halt! Hush! Hark!

Phone please, ring not, trill not,
Interrupt not my short break,
Nothing could be more important,
Madame hath to get her rest.

Boyfriend please, go away, stay away,
Care yes, from a distance,
Let me have this 3 days to myself,
Have you not things to do by thyself?
Be with the boys, glue self to the screen,
Handsomely I will reward, you, I give my word.

Girlfriend please, no shopping, no hen night,
This time I am enough company,
No ranting, just decompressing,
I know my way to the spa,
I can pick the colour of my nail polish,
Worry not,
Say hullo to Mary for me, drinks on me,
I'll hear all about it once I return.

You know not how to relax,
Thou hasn't learnt to catch thy breathe,
Run and run you run, have you no stop?
The things you chase, won't they come to you?
What you chase, always runs from you, they say.

Lie down my stubborn body and recuperate,
Rest oh big head, and catch a snooze,
Here, take this happy pill,
It'll calm your nerves, maybe knock you out,
A couple of hours, sleep hard,
Forget thy tribulations, find peace, reconcile.

Forget the drink, it will do you no good,
Never has, don't fight this, its true,
Make peace with self forgive your iniquities,
Embrace who you are, fight not your fate,
Make the best of what you possess,
Take not for granted those offering a hand,
Dream again, breathe afresh, walk anew,
Rebirth, second chance, new slab.

Your pencil skirt

So you are in love with someone else,
someone who burns within your soul,
I hear you've never felt so alive,
so much desire beyond control.

When we spent summers at the waterfalls
and you said these were the perfect days,
I believed you.
Now you can tell some lies about the good times you haven't had
But I have tongued you more than twice,
and I like it when you tell me to stop,
Oh its turning me on oN ON,
When you raise your pencil skirt,
Like a veil before my eyes.

Well i know that you are engaged to him,
But i know you want something to play with.
I'll be around when he is not in town,
Then I'll show you how you are doing it wrong.
We share the same city and feel the same song
so when winter comes and the bomb drops
don't let me be the last to know
How you are feeling, where you are.

Creation is gone crazy and the TV is mad
Now you are the only sane thing that I have.

Lusts of the flesh

Funny that I wait for my phone to ring
Though I haven’t the slightest clue, what to say to you
I don’t even know you, but I want to say I love you
I want to say I’ll be here for you, I’ll wait for you
Care for you, breathe for you, and smile for you
I do that every minute of the day you know,
Smile for you.

Rub my feet against yours again
Clasp my hand and squeeze again
Embrace me and hold me tight for once
Kiss my brow and find my pouty lips
Touch my stomach and don’t be afraid to feel my heart
I won’t question if you want to go further
I want to find you, be with you
Fly with you to a far away land
Fall in love with you and blow away your mind.

Please don’t make it stop, freeze time instead
Please don’t burst my bubble, don’t make a sound
Let me marinate, just a while longer
I don’t care if you reciprocate, just don’t ruin it for me
I believe, let me believe
I don’t ask for much, just let me breathe
Breathe you in, dream of you, play with you,
Stay with you, stare at you, and sleep with you. Kiss you.

Who are we?

They make us cut our locks, by their piercing looks
We change our wardrobes, so we are not labeled rebels
So we can fit, and attain goals masked by the mist
How they rule over our creative souls is cruel.

They say we look shabby, and out goes our ragged denim
That music its too loud, and there we are turning it down
Rock and roll is the devil's, at them we could throw pebbles
But why don't we? Scared spineless we!

Hiding our tattoos, as if they were marks of failure
Not pursuing painting, for we can't defend what is for sure
Here we are frustrated, with a boring job to endure
If only we made that call, do we not know our cure?

Shifting in our coloured skin, as if we don't belong
Speaking silence, for fear of saying it wrong
Are we not of this race, this very human song
Of freedom, of power? enslaved for how long?

You marry her, and yet you kiss his face
In the closet you sit and long for same else
Unfair to your wife and untrue to yourself
All because they prosecute and persecute

Why do we let them prevail, and retreat behind our veils
Have we a good response? have we no bravery as to riposte?
Its a shame, that we have no name amongst them
But what they call us, make us, FAKE US!

So you know

From Sufi Rabia -

In love, nothing exists between heart and heart.
Speech is born out of longing,True description from the real taste.
The one who tastes, knows;the one who explains, lies.
How can you describe the true form of Something In whose presence you are blotted out?
And in whose being you still exist?
And who lives as a sign for your journey?

- Rabia al Basri [1]

(Via Arif Jinha)

Ode to Ankh

Dear Ankh,

Since we rubbed feet under the table at that dinner, I haven’t slept much,
Thoughts of you ceaselessly torment me,
Images of you won’t give mine mind any calm,
Possibly it was a fleeting instant,
Perhaps the booze fogged up our judgment,
Or maybe it simply was what it was,
A moment,OUR moment
I don’t know what to think, or what to make of it,
I just pray you have trouble getting shuteye too.

Ever yours,
Xx.

Kiss me?

Back to the beginning of the end
Right where it all happened
Back to the spot where electricity flowed
Bursting with desire, hormones raging
Rubbing feet, beneath the desk,
Daze.

I am here, right at the unanticipated rendezvous
Recreating and reliving long gone moments
Where finally we bonded, our energies coupled
Where our eyes met, and our bodies connected
The pit of my stomach turning,
My heart swollen with anticipation.

I want to hug you but I won’t
I want to touch you but I can’t
I want to kiss you, will you let me? I ask.
You giggle, is that a yes? I wonder.

I don’t make my move
I won’t leap before time
I will hold back, even if it kills me
Till lights turn green, amber is fine; at least it’s not red
Embarrass myself I won’t, show my voracity I can’t
I will hunger with class, am I not a lady?

Something is got to give!

Stay the weekend my love, don’t give up what we have
I’ll make it worthwhile; we’ll drink all the wine
Play by the wild, fly by the wells

Catch fireflies, stare at the skies
At the stars and the lights, in the far distance

We’ll break the rules and rule the jungle
Just say yes and accept the bungle

Eat mushrooms, fly brooms, it’s our honeymoon
Watch Harry potter, forget importance

Get lost in the past, there’s nothing in the post
No one is looking for us, It’s just us as times pass

Lose your watch and clutch onto me
You are all I want, what else do you want?

I Do, I Will, I Have

How wise I am to have instructed the butler
to instruct the first footman to instruct the second
footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage;
I am about to volunteer a definition of marriage.

Just as I know that there are two Hagens, Walter and Copen,
I know that marriage is a legal and religious alliance entered
into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut and a
woman who can't sleep with the window open.
Moreover, just as I am unsure of the difference between
flora and fauna and flotsam and jetsam,
I am quite sure that marriage is the alliance of two people
one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other
never forgetsam,
And he refuses to believe there is a leak in the water pipe or
the gas pipe and she is convinced she is about to asphyxiate
or drown,
And she says, Quick get up and get my hairbrushes off the
windowsill, it's raining in, and he replies, Oh they're all right,
it's only raining straight down.

That is why marriage is so much more interesting than divorce,
Because it's the only known example of the happy meeting of
the immovable object and the irresistible force.
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and
combat over everything debatable and combatable,
Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life,
particularly if he has income and she is pattable.


Ogden Nash

If

If this is all I have left,
If flowery words and insightful paragraphs are where it ends.
If there is no real meaning or lasting truth to it
If choice is no more a tangible option
And desire and promise are futile to my general progress
If something called a gift has bound me to lies

If I'm stuck at the start line of change forever
If there, I shall implode with what's left of my character to slay
Never to run the race
Never to advance toward my crucial goals.
If my fears will continue to be realised
If my tears shall continue to cause no relief
And my weaknesses continue to inflate my strife
And master my pain

If hope, faith and love can no longer serve my plight
In a world that has lost the patience or the grace to pardon me any longer

Then Lord, I will not make it through…
Nay, I cannot
Lord, soon bring me home to you.

© juliana ohayo

Walk away or Love anyway?

Truth is:

He has been here, done this; twice before.
There will be no holy matrimony.
He doesn’t need my hand in marriage.
He will never be a father to another.
Mwiba wa kujidunga hauambiwi pole.

Anguish is :

Being alone and lonely in his house so homely,
Falling head over heels for a man guarded to the teeth.
Leaving his wife, albeit a little too late.
To know I will cry every night he is out of sight,
To know without a doubt, no other will ever have my heart.

Courage is:

To love him anyway,
To know that time is a healer.
To live in the moment,
To chase my dreams.

Idiocy is:

To hope things will get better.
To think he will love me eternally.
If I was smart I would walk away,
I am still here so I guess I am not.

Calm after the Friday storm

I don’t know what to feel, the floods washed away the emotions left,
But glad the storm is over.
Of course there is the aftermath,
But I smile for I weathered the storm
I knew it would come, the storm; I saw it coming
But had no way of stopping it, I couldn’t
I am just thankful for the calm after the storm.

I sat and waited, minute after second
Patiently, I watched as he torched
All I thought we had; correction …all we had
Then as if to comfort me, I tell me
At least I dared to dream, about peaches and cream
Of sun and sand, basking, in front of a playing band
Of good times, speaking in rhymes
Counting our blessings, stolen blessings

I was not interested in the war, but the war in me
I didn’t know how to defend myself, but I went to battle
Armed with nothing, but a vest of faith
A sword of pain and anger from a failed union

Walking off the boulevard of broken dreams
My warriors meet his
I see through his blue eyes the pain, the caution, the fear, the insecurity
I hope my wry smile tells of the hope, the chance, the possibility, the destiny

Jumping off the cliff of daunting doubts
His worries meet mine
And I see a ray of sunshine in the Friday storm
For a second there, the mist disappears and the fog lifts
I see the face of man in pursuit of happiness
I am the form of a woman ready for love.

A river without a course

I am water, that I know, as the course meanders,
So I do, I cannot resist, it is who I am.

I need answers!

Can a river be without water?
Can water be without a course?
Can a river have more than one course?

I want answers!

Can I be without him?
Can I sour without her?
Can I wed both my loves?

She represents what I want.
He is what I want.

I feel like a blind woman
About to date a sightless man
Does he feel the same?
Raging waters to a destination unknown!

My heart responds to his voice
Even though my eyes have not seen

My soul enchanted by his words
Even though my skin has not felt

My future holds him captive
My past filled with his visions

She features in my dreams too
In my future we shake hands and pay respect
In my present she is dominant
In my past she is vague

Why does it feel like I am falling for Maya Angelou?

She is not Maya Angelou, she who catches my fancy
But maybe she will be, when the rains come and go,
When winter meets spring on its way to summer,
When the children are born and all grown,
When seedlings yield crops,
When the sun sets

Am I lost?

Why can’t I tell where it hurts?
Is this pain or stifled glee?
Why can’t I explain the thrill?
Is this love or adulation?

What will it be?

Love or career?
My dilemma!
Him or her?
My quandary!

To win or to lose?

It’s a catch-22; I see no middle ground
It’s this or that; I feel no sense of balance
I want it all; mtaka yote hukosa yote
I’ll take both; mpanda farasi wawili hupasuka msamba

Yours, Truly his!

I had a dream about me and you were not in it; his presence in your absence is peculiar.
I day dream about you and dream about him; unconsciously his yet consciously yours is curious.
Eyes closed I see him and awake there you are; that you are the lights yet he illuminates is mysterious.

What you see when we lock eyes I want to know; the sparkle in his or the twinkle in mine?
What is it you discern when we hold close; his heart throbbing or mine skipping?
What about us makes you blue; that he is the burglar or I am the stolen diamond?

You sing to my crust and he speaks to my core; I am body and soul.
He says I am gorgeous and you think I am poised; I am bold and beautiful.
Without you it is completely dark and him away I am glum; I am black and blue.

I have but I want; albeit what you are not.
I need yet I have; although what he is not.

Yours, Truly his.